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The Taborda Chosen Kennedy Vega

Description

In the Kingdom of Arshile benevolence and equality rings true. Centuries of relative peace and immense prosperity have been prolific in the country's history due to a tradition of honorable and capable leaders, all of whom have been chosen by the Taborda. The Taborda is an ancient formless being made of churning smoke and ash, so old that its origin is unknown and it is time for it to chose a new leader.

However, an unwillingness to relinquish power, betrayal, deceit, and a rival kingdom will threaten the very existence of Arshile and what it stands for.

Tradition will be upheaved. Old leaders will fall and new ones will rise from their ashes. Ancient opponents will emerge from fallen kingdoms as the struggle for power reaches a crescendo in this tale of love, deception, and magic.

Length

  • 74818 words
  • About 299 pages
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Swoon Index Ranking

  • Heat

    6

  • Tears

    6

  • Laughs

    5

  • Thrills

    8

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69 comments on "The Taborda Chosen"

Becca Haven on Nov. 16, 2017, 1:35 a.m. said:

Becca Haven


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Intellectual_idiots on Oct. 28, 2017, 4:49 p.m. said:

Intellectual_idiots


OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH!!! I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THIS TO GET PUBLISHED SO I CAN BUY IT AND SHARE IT WITH ALL MY FRIENDS!!!! SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT BOOK!!! Sorry not sorry about the caps...
This book is so awesome and unique I can’t compare it to anything other then perfect

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Kennedy Vega on Oct. 28, 2017, 8:18 p.m. said:

Kennedy Vega


AHHHH!!!! Thank you so so much!! I'm so glad you liked it!! :) (I love the all caps hahah)

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Reader02 on Oct. 19, 2017, 6:36 a.m. said:

Reader02


It was very interesting, and I enjoyed it immensely.

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Kennedy Vega on Oct. 20, 2017, 11:25 p.m. said:

Kennedy Vega


Yay! I'm so glad, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. :)

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Cassie Rose on Oct. 13, 2017, 10:16 a.m. said:

Cassie Rose


I just finished reading! I still really enjoyed the fantasy world-building, and I think the story really picked up and moved once we got into the first person point of view. My overall suggestion would be to cut the beginning chapters about Evzen's parents. The same information can be given the throughout the story in a more suspenseful and meaningful way, and it also is just a bit jarring to switch POVs and characters like that. Although, taking into consideration the epilogue (which I really loved by the way!), you could do a brief prologue centered around Evzen if you still wanted to have an introductory chapter explaining the mechanics of the world. Just make sure to keep it only a few pages long to avoid losing reader's attention or confusing them. Otherwise, I enjoyed the read and had fun! :)

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Kennedy Vega on Oct. 14, 2017, 11:15 a.m. said:

Kennedy Vega


Thank you so very much for your extremely helpful feedback! I was definitely unsure about those elements and so I really appreciate your critique. :)

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Eliza Rosewood on Oct. 10, 2017, 5:23 p.m. said:

Eliza Rosewood


I think this is interesting so far but I would suggest starting at the first person part and dropping in what happened to the King and Queen as you go.

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Kennedy Vega on Oct. 10, 2017, 8:43 p.m. said:

Kennedy Vega


Thank you so much for your feedback! That element is definitely something I wasn't sure about so I appreciate your opinion :)

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Cassie Rose on Oct. 9, 2017, 10:31 p.m. said:

Cassie Rose


I just finished Chapter 3. I haven't read a true fantasy in a long time, so I was happy to be back in the genre. I like that you have a distinct feel to the world, where a reader can instantly tell this is a fantasy and kind of get a general idea of what the world would look like, even without you describing it in detail. I also like the idea of an evil offspring of good royals. I'm always intrigued by such characters-- like Loki from Thor. So I liked that detail in the plot. I don't think I've actually gotten to the actual meat of the story yet by Chapter 3, but I'm interested in meeting the main character-- whoever she or he might be (unless Evzen is the main character?). I'll be reading on!

I have only two small areas of concern so far. One was that there were some grammar issues. Mostly to do with commas. Such as, if a character is doing an action (such as "He nodded"), there should be a period after that and before the dialogue. Not a comma. Also, in dialogue, there should be commas before names when the speaker is addressing someone (such as "I hope you are doing well, Bob"). The second thing I wanted to ask was about the mechanics of the Taborda choosing the heir. If it's not necessarily going to be a Sargon, then why does it wait until a Sargon turns 18? Why wouldn't it just choose whoever was worthy when /they/ turned 18? Maybe that's explained further in and I just haven't gotten to it yet, but I was just wondering.

Anyway, it's a good book so far and I'm excited to see more of the world and meet more characters.

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