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The Price Cassie Rose

Description

Nadia, orphaned by the first Vigilant Men uprising, is taken in by Mr. Lennox, an ominous man with a vision to create the most stunning ballet company in existence. He teaches the already talented girl to dance like an unearthly creature, but requires her undying loyalty in return. However, as he builds the famous Lennox Company, uprising once again stirs the city of Rumonin, and the opulent ballet finds itself out of place in the new and austere culture of the Vigilant Men. Throughout it all, Nadia falls in love with her partner, Ferdinand, a famous young dancer who awakens her long silent heart. A jealous Lennox, the growing civil unrest, and a nation at war conspire to separate the dancers forever. Nadia must find a strength inside of her to brave a new world and fend for herself against the coming of an uncertain future.

Length

  • 87315 words
  • About 349 pages
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Swoon Index Ranking

  • Heat

    7

  • Tears

    10

  • Laughs

  • Thrills

    9

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25 comments on "The Price"

Samantha Hastings on June 20, 2017, 11:01 a.m. said:

Samantha Hastings


Very intriguing. I liked how the plot started with all the action. Drew me right in.
I don't know anything about ballet, but the descriptions bring it alive. I already like Nadia and the male dancer (couldn't spell his name) already has a mysterious attraction.
Just a little typo: "father" should be "farther and farther."
Chapter one: at the beginning, tell the reader how many years have passed.
A date and city name at the beginning of the prologue and/or chapter heading would help give the reader context.

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Cassie Rose on June 20, 2017, 2:07 p.m. said:

Cassie Rose


Thanks so much for the comment, Samantha! :) Your suggestion hit upon something I've been trying to figure out how to fix for a while. I want to indicate a year, but, since it's a made-up world, I'm having trouble figuring out how to do that. :P I'll have to keep thinking on it. But I can always take a look at adding in the city's name and how many years have passed!

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KyraMNelson on June 13, 2017, 3:23 p.m. said:

KyraMNelson


I'm totally jealous of the worldbuilding in this. I could really picture the setting and the conflict felt very real to me. I agree with what a couple other people have said that some of the descriptions felt a little long. Also, I would have liked to see more Ferdinand in the beginning. Maybe slow down the initial attraction they feel for each other (I don't feel like they've actually spent much time together when they first kiss). But overall, I thought the story was really fantastic. Loved the voice!

I'd call it Phantom of the Opera meets Anastasia.

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Cassie Rose on June 14, 2017, 11:35 a.m. said:

Cassie Rose


You read like the wind! Ha ha! :D Thanks so much for reading the whole thing, and I super appreciate the comment! World building was one of my Big Focus items in previous drafts, so I'm really glad that you liked it and thought it worked. And in the draft I'm working on now, I can definitely look at description length and Ferdinand's face time in the beginning. Thanks so much for the suggestions and for taking the time to read!

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KyraMNelson on June 12, 2017, 10:18 p.m. said:

KyraMNelson


I really love the voice in this one. So far it's one of my favorites I've read on the site. I'm already invested in Nadia and Ferdinand's relationship. The worldbuilding is so lush and perfect. I'm so excited to keep reading!

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Cassie Rose on June 13, 2017, 8:07 a.m. said:

Cassie Rose


Ack, thank you so much! I so excited that you like Nadia and Ferdinand's relationship already! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story. If you find issues you'd like to bring to my attention, feel free to let me know. I'm currently editing a new draft of this, so I'm totally up for constructive crit. ;)

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Sarah K. on June 12, 2017, 5:07 p.m. said:

Sarah K.


I loved the historical and adventure aspects in this story. The dancing parts remind me a bit of Moulin Rouge in a more toned down part. (I'm a fan of dance!) I love how Nadia grows throughout the story and does what she has to do survive.

I am not sure what could be improved. There is a lot of descriptive action which is fascinating. Maybe more dialogue in the book?

The story gives off a historical romance. Stories that I could compare it to: Phantom of the Opera, Jane Eyre kinda feel..Wuthering Heights feel concept of despair and hope at the same time...It's different but interesting. Nicely done!!

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Cassie Rose on June 12, 2017, 10:01 p.m. said:

Cassie Rose


Oh my goodness, Sarah, thank you so much! I love that you caught on to my main focus, which was Nadia's growth. I really wanted to show that every girl, no matter how meek they may think themselves, can become strong and stand up for themselves. And thank you for the suggestion on adding more dialogue. I'm not a very talkative person in real life, so that may translate into the book. I will take a look at that as I edit. And I am so hyped about the book comparisons you made! I love all of those so much, and in their own ways they have been big influences on my writing over the years. Thank you so much for reading all the way through, and for sharing your thoughts!

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Sarah K. on June 6, 2017, 2:41 p.m. said:

Sarah K.


The beginning caught my attention and I was hooked. As the story moved on, the rehearsal was fascinating. The descriptions were vivid but long. It was a bit too much for me. Once I came to the scene of the rehearsal I was drawn into what was going to happen next. During the rehearsal scene, I could see the gossip from the other girl dancers as Nadia was the outcast. I could identify with that. Nadia did her best to focus on dancing only which is I think is a good goal but I dare wonder if she realizes there more out there for her than that?

My take on some of the characters is that Mr. Lennox is controlling and wanting his story of dancing to be famous. He also gave me the feel of being having no emotion and stiff. I guess we have to have a bad guy right? Now Nadia left me with the thought of being kind, soft and wanting to please Mr. Lennox. I believe she is doing her best to survive. It is a weird relationship between the two, Mr. Lennox and Nadia. The other girls that are dancers, seem to be social and interested in gossip. Then there is Ferdinand who is a star in dancing and yet I do not know much about him. He seems very kind to Nadia as she took a tiny fall. I will continue to read the story.

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Cassie Rose on June 6, 2017, 3 p.m. said:

Cassie Rose


Thank you so much for reading! I find it really helpful that you described how the characters come off, as that helps me identify how readers are perceiving them. So far, you are seeing the characters how I intended! :) Also, thank you for pointing out the description lengths. I am still in active editing for this book, so that's very valuable information to me. I will definitely look into the amount of describing I do, and do some cuts where needed. I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story!

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