You Swoon, You Sigh: The 10 Stages of Shipping

The jitters descended upon me last weekend while binge-watching Bates Motel—that prequel series to Hitchcock’s Psycho.

Oh, because that’s the poster show for murder and hallucinatory angst, you ask?

Strangely, no. It was the beautifully budding romantic tension between White Pine Bay’s own Norma Bates and Sheriff Alex Romero that made me devolve into a puddle of wine and feelings for 12 hours straight. (Sadly, no hyperbole here. My BFF tried to pry me away from Netflix, to no avail.)

Boarding ship for a fictional couple—whether they exist between the pages or on screen—hits out of nowhere, even in the least saccharine genres. No one’s safe from it. Like love itself, you might not realize it’s happening until you’re curled up in a ball long after you close the book or flip off the TV, listening to cathartic ballads on Spotify in the dark—while hoping your fictional pair has what it takes to go the distance. (Is this post making me sound like a loser yet?)

For those unsure (or cough, cough, in denial) if they’ve jumped ship, here are ten common stages of falling hard for a couple:

1. There’s that moment you first realize the characters have chemistry, and you have to reread/rewatch the scene just to make sure.

jess rory ship gif

2. You focus only on these characters during group scenes, because let’s be honest, they’re your main concern.

ron hermione ship gif

3. Your heart leaps when they fight because you know it’s out of love.

peggy stan gif

4. You analyze every physical interaction to death.

katniss peeta ship gif

5. You Google the characters’ names plus “will they get together?” and comb through the results.

poussey soso ship gif

6. You get lost in a dark web of fan-made YouTube videos that play their scenes on repeat (set against Top-40 slow jams).

kate sawyer ship gif

7. You start to resent the book/show/movie for dragging its feet on their first inevitable kiss.

harry sally ship gif

8. You curse every time they almost kiss, but don’t.

luke lorelai gif

9. You release a strangled cry when they finally do.

norma alex ship gif

10. You have an existential crisis once you reach the last page/episode, because, wait, where are they going?!

diane keaton gif

So whether you’re on the cusp of falling or recovering from your last ship, Swooners, you have my sympathies. Now comes the obvious question: Who’s your fave couple to ship?

About the author - Kelsey M.

Publicist for Swoon Reads. LA native. Not ashamed to know all things Kardashian.

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24 comments on "You Swoon, You Sigh: The 10 Stages of Shipping"

Francesca Grandillo on March 22, 2017, 10:08 p.m. said:

Francesca Grandillo


UM, Inej and Kaz from Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom!!!!!!!! Beyond shippable. If there isn't another book with a kissing scene, Leigh Bardugo might see me tearful at her next book signing :)

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skipabbeat on March 20, 2017, 2:48 a.m. said:

skipabbeat


I ship Christian and Tara from dance academy so bad. Also the good girl and bad boy in the breakfast club.

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Katie Kaleski on March 20, 2017, 11:57 p.m. said:

Katie Kaleski


I had to login in so I can say, YESSSSS! to Christian and Tara!!!!

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skipabbeat on March 21, 2017, 12:06 a.m. said:

skipabbeat


They were my ultimate couple ship that I never missed an episode of the show and watch the marathons on the weekends. I loved how they hinted by the ending that they would get back together. I'm so worried from the movie trailer that Ben is going to interfere in their love again. I can only tolerate Christian and Tara as end game.

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Katie Kaleski on March 22, 2017, 11:10 a.m. said:

Katie Kaleski


I do rewatch binges of Dance Academy all the time, and man, can't wait for the movie. Ben better not get in the way. It needs to be Christian.

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Luvelle Raevan on March 17, 2017, 11:08 p.m. said:

Luvelle Raevan


I like your 10 stages of shipping, Kelsey. It's about time everyone in the world looks to love instead of being focused on all the angst and graphic violence portrayed on tv and in books. I think we're all looking toward a new horizon of expression. Suspense is great, being desensitized to violence is being cruel to ourselves. Time for great books about true love I say! And movies, tv, etc. That's what I try to do...be kind to myself and others. I'm not an escapist, just a practical realist because young minds belong in good places.

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Pamela Delupio on March 17, 2017, 9:12 p.m. said:

Pamela Delupio


Yes! Someone understands the struggle! I ship so many ships, it's what I always look forward to in every new book :)

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Books And Tea Are All You Need on March 17, 2017, 8:33 p.m. said:

Books And Tea Are All You Need


I have way too many favorite ships, so I'll just go with my most recent one: Eric and Donna from That 70's Show!

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Kimberly Vale on March 17, 2017, 3:43 p.m. said:

Kimberly Vale


Please tell me you got the blog title "You swoon, you sigh" from the lyrics of Meg's song in the Disney Hercules!!!!

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Kelsey M. on March 18, 2017, 11:31 a.m. said:

Kelsey M.


Girl, you know it!!

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