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Author Swapping: Tales from an Alternate Literary Universe

Today marks the first day that I feel fully recovered from the excitement, chaos, sensory overload, and absolute mayhem that is New York Comic Con.

Upon reflection, I realized that a lot of the conversations I had there centered on how vastly different certain movies, shows, or comic runs would have been if they had cast this person, or that director, or another artist. 

Back at work I started talking with some coworkers about how different some of our favorite books would be if they were written by different authors. Below are a few highlights:

If George R. R. Martin wrote Harry Potter:

• Both Quidditch and the House Cup would basically be a Thunderdome situation that would require A LOT of parental release forms.

• Most of Hufflepuff would have been eliminated in the first book. Let’s be honest, they’re just too pure.

• Things probably would have gotten a little questionable between a few Weasleys.

• BONUS: Deathly Hollows would currently remain unfinished in a vault somewhere.

If E. L. James wrote The Scarlet Letter:

• First of all, I guarantee no teenager would ever be forced to write an essay on this book ever again.

• Instead of living a quiet, somber life in a cottage on the edge of town and devoting her time to charity, I have to believe that Hester would be devoting her time to secret rendezvous with Arthur Dimmesdale.

• Instead of being deformed from a long life at sea, Roger Chillingworth would have the smile of Michael B. Jordan, the eyes of Oscar Issac, the voice of Ryan Gosling, and the abs of Thor. Not even Chris Hemsworth, legit Thor.

If Nicholas Sparks wrote The Fault in Our Stars:

• It would be set in North Carolina.

• …that’s really all I’ve got.

Let’s keep the fun going, Swooners! Comment with your own favorite author swap and how it would be different from the original, or keep it going with the examples above. 

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Liz O.

Brooklyn resident, sarcasm connoisseur, pop culture junkie, food obsessed. I am on the editorial board for Swoon, binge reading manuscripts ...

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